The life and times of Esther Avila

Time goes bye by Estha Fiesta She bought a big bed when she turned twenty-five In hopes that one day she’d share it with the love of her life Then one day she turned fifty-two And woke to realize half her bed was still brand new Where did her time go? How quickly her days went by All she can do now is look back and cry Her heart never stopped beating But she never felt alive She spent thirty years trying Only to emotionally survive Where did her years go? How lonely her days went by All she can do now is look in the mirror and lie She claimed to choose privacy And pretend she despised being tied down In reality she felt terrified that in her lonely Tears she would drown Where did her love go? How quietly her feelings slipped by All she can do now is lay down and die

6/9/2011 she bought a big bed when she turned twenty-five in hopes to one day share it with the love of her life then one day she turned fifty-two and woke to realize half her bed was still brand new where did her time go? how quickly her days went by all she can do now is look back and cry her heart never stopped beating but she never felt alive she spent thirty years trying only to emotionally survive where did her years go? how lonely her days went by all she can do now is lie... she chose privacy and despised being tied down in reality always terrified that in her lonely tears she would drown where did her love go? how quietly her feeling slipped by all she can do now is lay down and die

Silence so thick we can't walk through it, can't move we stop and stare thinking about what the either might be thinking No one says a word both scared to step into the silent space that festers between us holding us at bay. I push myself to speak but I resist. You say nothing as well. How long can this last? The silence  torments me. it's like we are strangers. In a away it's what we have become. I want to cry at the idea that I've lost you and that you've lost me as well. Where have we gone? Wherever we might  be we are certainly not  together. Our love is worn out. Sadly it had only just started. Maybe it only needs a rest.  It needs to regain energy. 

I am starting this log for many reasons. 1. I would like to begin writing again 2. my boyfriend is currently obsessed with HTML and I feel the need to partake in his excitement in some way =D 3. I have lots of random thoughts on a daily basis and usually don't know who to share it with Welcome and hope you enjoy.