The life and times of Esther Avila

No longer crying about the past Longing for the future has ended Smiling for today, realizing I am alive

my beautiful friend sweet, shy, nurturing and kind spread your wings and fly

Running in circles hitting my head against walls Never learning from the mistakes I make Crying at the thought of all my scrapes and falls Running in circles hitting my head against walls  Waiting for sanity to visit, but reason never calls Losing myself bit by bit, waiting for my soul to finally break Running in circles hitting my head against walls Never learning from the mistakes I make

Today, I am practicing my Villanelle skills... lost all his sanity one night by Estha Fiesta lost all his sanity one night sorting through all the consternation doesn't know how to make it right an initial attraction that was quite a sight his efforts to love her full of determination lost all his sanity one night but she filled his life with unbearable light saturating his being with ill-frustration doesn't know how to make it right their disparate bond becoming their plight debilitated by so much condemnation lost all his sanity one night life leading them to hearts contrite caused by circumstances of adulteration and doesn't know how to make it right her hopeless abandonment winning the fight flooding his soul with desperation lost all his sanity one night and doesn't know how to make it right

no one will ever ask I'll never say yes the flowers will dry up so will all the dreams hopes shrivel up and die because he wont ever ask and i'll never say yes remaining forever in line never getting to the front catching everyone's flowers but the hope, in the back of you're heart just cowers

Title: Little Girl Sighs (Feb. 2008) Independent strong woman walking down the street Not a care in the world, no one left to greet self-confident and outgoing, with head held high feeling like she’s totally complete inside but around the corner sits a man with a gleam in his eye and she’s about to learn that she’s not really living life her face is stuck in a smile and she’s got her hands over her eyes but she’s peeking at him through loose fingers and little girl sighs with few words he takes her for a ride she blushes and smiles, and has no where to hide she stops dead in her tracks she has no place to move now she’s scared and shy and now she has something to prove her heart skips beats and her eyelashes bat with joke he makes, with the drop of his hat her face is stuck in a smile and she’s got her hands over her eyes but she’s peeking at him through loose fingers and little girl sighs she’s alone most of the time, a grown woman with fairytale dreams the next...

Title: Learning how (Apr. 2008) Everything gone completely wrong need to write another fucking song you were supposed to be the one learning how to stand, how to breathe learning to wake up knowing you're not with me who swept me off my feet but not with the dirt now I'm lying to everyone about all my fucking hurt told so many lies, don't even know where I stand you should've been there holding my hand learning how to walk, how to see learning to wake up knowing you're not with me my life's put together, but my spirit lays broken sitting in the darkness of my mind, words unspoken eyes dry, heart drowning, screaming, kicking learning how to run, how to feel learning to wake up knowing you're not with me but my life's put together, my spirit remains broken I will let this drown while words will not be spoken learning how to fly, how to be learning to wake up knowing you're not with me